“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

In the Twelve Steps, we learn how fear can take hold of our lives. That’s why we keep an inventory of our fears, resentments, and conduct—it helps us see things clearly.

I’m nearly four years into this recovery journey. Despite countless hours of therapy, study, meetings, step work, and a life dedicated to self-development, I still face some truly hellish days. Today was one of those days.

One of my greatest struggles is my tendency to spiral into fear and catastrophizing. It doesn’t happen all the time, but certain triggers or mental states can create a cocktail of stress that quickly snowballs. In those moments, I feel mentally vulnerable.

Here’s the pattern: My fears and anxieties eventually subside, and I hear a small voice inside whisper, “Maybe next time, you could try trusting me.” I believe that voice is God’s gentle invitation, reminding me to combat fear with faith.

But what do these spirals actually look like for me? Here’s an example:

It’s winter—a season I love, but also a time when colds and flu run rampant. Add to that a rough night’s sleep (thanks to a family member accidentally calling at full volume in the middle of the night), and you wake up exhausted. Now, combine that with skipping breakfast and lunch on a busy day, and suddenly hunger pangs and nausea hit like a freight train.

We’ve talked about the HALT model before: when we’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, it’s vital to practice self-care. But in a weakened state, fear loves to creep in and do what it does best—distort reality.

It’s on days like this that I have to remind myself to put fear into perspective. Rationalizing with myself sometimes helps, but experience has taught me that talking things through with someone else is far more effective. After all, a problem shared is a problem halved, right?

I recognize what’s happening in my head. I know my baseline behaviors and how I tend to react, but fear and anxiety can still knock me flat. That’s when I lean on trusted fellows or loved ones to give me a much-needed reality check. Sometimes all it takes is someone saying, “Give your head a wobble.”

And then I’m reminded:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

Tonight, as I reflect and work my program, I see how quick I am to believe fear and anxiety—and how much slower I am to practice serenity, trust God, or listen to rational thought.