In the twelve steps, we often organise regional or intergroup open days which serve as a chance to bring together the wider recovery community and, on occasions, open up to the world outside the rooms.

Today, I attended such a day and was given the honour of sharing my story with the focus being on hope. That word, along with many others, has taken on new meaning in the last nearly 3 years.

Hope in the past was essentially a personal wishlist and all were rooted in self – “I this, me that”. In my past as a young singer of songs in the church, I had two scriptures about hope often shared with me which I dismissed as well-meaning words of a fellow church member.

“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you not harm you, plans to give you hope for the future.” – Jer 29:11

“Faith is the evidence of things unseen and the substance of things hoped for.” – Heb 11:1

Fast forward all these years later to today and I sit in the church pews, taking in the filling main hall. As the pews are stocked with Bibles, I turn to these scriptures. I am, of course, going to be talking about hope today, so it seems fitting even if I keep the specifics of my faith out of the message.

There’s something about the “God” word in the twelve steps that is truly wonderful and such a typical selfless thing for the “jealous” and often scary God that I was taught about in the past. I often think people get bottlenecked on the God bit by the baggage that religion weighs folks down with and the lack of love and grace they may have encountered in life thus far.

Here even God honours the tradition of anonymity but his penmanship is evident in the stories being shared in this sanctuary. In twelve steps God is like Banksy.

As we begin the day, a multitude of recovering humans in one voice invite God into their midst and the words of the Serenity Prayer reverberate around the room. This is like homegroup with the bass cranked up. As the day unfolds and shares, workshops, and social time allow us to celebrate the newness we find in the program, we are the lucky ones that find each other and our collective experience, strength, and hope provides us with all we need to face a world that we couldn’t cope in before we came to realise we were sex addicts and we needed help.

For such a day to happen, there are so many individuals who give their time, talents, and commitment to create the safe haven from the chaotic and warring world we inhabit. For that service, I am truly grateful.

Days like today inspire me that these newfound friends are people whom when they share, I experience this complete psychic change in new wonderful ways, I feel their pain, I celebrate their wins, I see through the eyes of another and find a capacity of empathy I never thought possible.

They say the best thing about recovery is you get your feelings back and the worst thing? You get your feelings back. As time has gone on, I love to sit with the full spectrum of love and emotions for my fellows.

The nerves that grew as the day rolled on were settled by taking a breath and asking God to be the pilot. I’m really not good at it and with that, I remember I am with my tribe, with folks I might never meet outside of my recovery, and remember what landed me here in the school of the steps, a school I will never graduate from, so it’s not like this is some exam or test. Let’s face it, “it ain’t about me” and that’s the great thing about recovery.

The twenty minutes come and go and in short, the message I wanted to relay was as I summed up to a temp sponsee.

A big part I think I want to share regarding the hope of recovery tomorrow is the fact OUR MESS becomes our message and as we experience the miracle of recovery and healing, in service to our fellows we get to witness a loving God at work in the lives of others as they live out their own miracles.

As fellows shared back the tears brim below, out the hopelessness and despair I manufactured for myself and sadly the family, loved ones and friends comes new life, as a version of me passed away this new incarnation as a fellow described sits overwhelmed at the goodness of God, He truly takes us from shame to grace.

One thing that I didn’t mention was the meeting with its open format meant my partner at home could hear my share. One of the many miracles is that despite everything she remains by my side and as I saw her name in the box on the screen the words of the step nine promises echoed

Are these extravagant promises?

We think not! 💚