I wrote very early on that my first impressions of recovery were that some aspects would be like a tightrope walk, while others would need bubble wrap.
The principle of the Step One admission that our lives have become unmanageable means we need help. In my journey toward that, I tried blockers, filters, and, for a little while, I flirted with the concept of accountability.
The fear surrounding someone knowing the detailed use of your tech, what you look at, how much time you spend, and when you spend it, is daunting for someone who has lurked online in the shadows for most of my life.
Being willing to go to any distance for recovery is not limited to but includes being brave enough to embrace discomfort and change for the greater good of one’s sobriety.
I have chosen Covenant Eyes, and the journey has allowed me to use technology safely. For some tips on the best way to set up screen time with Covenant Eyes, see our “Make Tech Work for You” section.
The journey has had its ups and downs. It is both my favorite tool and my biggest resentment at times. Along the way, I found bugs and workarounds, which led to me submitting a report that, in turn, led to an update to patch it. I’ve learned the hard way how to get the most out of it as a tool. When using it alongside making an administrator for the app store and setting up app and usage limits, it becomes a powerhouse.
It’s the only VPN I can trust because it allows Covenant Eyes to monitor all web activity on the device, whether in the foreground or background.
One or two awkward moments of chat with a sponsor, when considered along with how much good it brings, make this the most important subscription service in my monthly bills. I also support fellow members by being an ally for them as they follow in the footsteps of accountability.
Today was a stressful one as I worked on my day job, starting early. I had seen some old bookmarks in my Google, and the process of removing them led to a background notification on my report. While not seeing or being aware of it the receiving a message from my sponsor still spikes uncomfortable feelings for me, the need to please people and be liked still consumes me from time to time. But I am reminded that here is a man who heard my entire inventory, and the only other who knows such depths is God.
Aside from the occasional awkward and uncomfortable moments, there are also downright funny ones. The screen grab monitoring alerts to the gym bro bodybuilder and the social media influencer girls, and on occasion, the sponsor on a web call with his top off. We agreed that I would really have to use my imagination and guile there.
In bookending one of those moments, I focus on the gratitude that I have learned to receive and commit to help. I continue to work on recovery with tech, and when things are uncomfortable, I never lose sight of why and how I ended up needing support in the first place.
If you’re feeling brave enough to take the step, why not check out our homepage link for a 14-day free trial of Covenant Eyes?
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