This post is about partners, yesterday my loving partner sat with me through an appointment about my ongoing support in recovery from addiction.

I don’t know where she gets her strength from. Every step over the last near two and a half years she has been in my corner, supporting and encouraging me forward.

I may not have connected with my program of recovery, therapy and life of service were it not for her seeing my problem was more illness than moral bankruptcy.

One of the key points she attributes to this is that her therapist specialises in Sex Addiction and knows both sides of this pain, she broke things down into the choice which is hers in staying and how it’s always a choice.

Not all partners make it out of the wards of betrayal and hurt. Here are some points to consider when your world comes crashing down as a result of a loved ones sexual compulsive behaviour.

1. Seek Professional Help: Both you and your partner should consider seeking professional help from therapists or counselors who specialize in sex addiction.
2. Safety First: Assess your safety and well-being. If your partner’s addiction has led to abusive or harmful behaviors, your safety should be the top priority.
3. Understanding Addiction: Educate yourself about sex addiction to better understand its nature and challenges. Addiction is a complex issue, and learning about it can help you empathize with your partner.
4. Open Communication: Have open and honest conversations with your partner about their addiction. Effective communication is essential for addressing the problem and deciding on a path forward.
5. Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to protect yourself emotionally and physically. Define what behaviors are unacceptable and communicate these boundaries to your partner.
6. Support System: Lean on your support network, including friends and family. Only discuss your situation with people you trust, and seek emotional support from those who understand your struggles. Seek some advice about dealing with disclosure first.
7. Assess Willingness to Change: Evaluate your partner’s willingness to seek treatment and make changes to overcome their addiction. Are they committed to recovery, therapy, and making amends?
8. Impact on Children: If you have children, consider how the situation affects them. Their well-being should also be a significant factor in your decision-making process.
9. Self-Care: Prioritize your own self-care and well-being. Caring for yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally is crucial during this challenging time.
10. Time for Reflection: Take the time you need to reflect on your feelings and options. Decisions in such situations often require careful thought and consideration.
11. Trust and Rebuilding: Rebuilding trust in a relationship after addiction is a long and challenging process. Consider whether you are willing and able to undertake this journey. Make new memories together, moving on and choosing to forgive is an ongoing process.
12. Personal Values and Goals: Reflect on your own values, life goals, and what you want from a relationship. Does staying align with your long-term objectives and happiness?
13. Legal and Financial Considerations: Depending on your circumstances, you may need to consider legal and financial aspects, such as property or custody arrangements.

Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether you should stay or leave a relationship with a partner who has sex addiction. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and make a decision that aligns with your values and what you believe is best for your future.

For some further support and advice check out our help for partners page