Sex addiction took a bit of a hit in the headlines last week, and one moment, in particular, I found pretty hurtful was the BBC political presenter Emily Maitlis, belittling sex addiction in a cliche and dismissive way.

In addiction, there is the common experience of someone visiting a therapist who scratches their head as much as everyone else and says, “Have you not tried stopping?”

We’ve explored, in previous posts, the controversy in the medical space and its status in the DSM.

In addition to the professional labeling or diagnosis we addicts differ in our language. It’s often referred to as a disease, and in a way I get it, it’s progressive and sometimes sadly terminal (life becomes so unmanageable some end their lives).

The world of 12-step meetings for sex and porn addiction evokes all sorts of images. I often hear that people expect a room full of pervert stereotypes in long coats. The reality is, a newcomer will discover there isn’t a type of person that struggles with this, “rich, poor, high or low” this problem is an equal opportunist employer.

Not to turn this into a film review, but the film “Thanks for Sharing” gives a lighthearted glimpse into the subject of sex addiction in a way that’s not too triggering if watched with a partner or friend.

Very early on in my journey, my partner and I sat down to watch it. There really wasn’t much to pick from in the area of media to lift the lid on our world.

We laughed, cried, and felt that the subject was a little bit more relatable if they made a film about it. I must stress it may be triggering, and while it’s rated 15, it does have some content that you may want to consider before consuming.

The film captures the bizarre insanity of sex addiction, the friendships formed, and the grit and darkness of relapse and how ultimately we in recovery have to make some serious modifications to modern living so that we can be compatible with the world around us.

The thing I like about the film is the characters in recovery exist and live alongside other broken people with their own issues and that’s life, the world doesn’t revolve around us, much like my own relationship, we both have our own challenges and we are both in each others corner, to support, encourage and grow alongside one another.

I hear a lot in recovery just how difficult it is for partners, and sadly many don’t make it out of the wards of betrayal. I find a deep sense of gratitude for my partner’s grasp of the inability to deal with recovery alone. It’s never been as simple as reading a book or watching a video and you’re cured.

It takes honesty, determination, connection, service, and working a program of living to tackle life just one day at a time.

What’s really important for addicts, loved ones and even the general public is that everybodies story with sex addiction is different but in all of them we find we relate to one another and as we commence our common journey in recovery, we find that our common problem is accompanied by our common cure.

In my case as a blind consumer of pornography I have been a part of the problem. In the rooms of the 12 steps in my life now I get to be a part of the solution.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi